Eych-titty-pee, the chronicles of a waste of time

Normally I would bash every single event in the FEP despite the actual amount of fun I’ve had with them, but I’m feeling rather un-salty today because I finally have enough money to waste on Shin Megami Tensei IV Apocalypse, so I’m going to talk about the HTTP event in a less rude manner and give it a generally more positive review. Here it goes: the HTTP event was absolute wank. Better luck next time, HIMTI.

They’ve certainly spent a lot on this event; not just money, but also time. And it shows, but maybe they should’ve spent more time planning a more interesting event like, say, a huge water balloon fight except the water balloons are filled with milkshake, or a huge conga line circling a sacrificial pyre, and the sacrifice is the lead event planner.

The event started (for me, anyway), with them showing Zootopia on the big screen, which I ignored after a while because I couldn’t understand what any of the characters was saying because the speakers suck, so I just played Monster Hunter on my 3DS until the actual event started.

The actual event started when a guy in a low-cost robotic costume robot-walked onto the stage and robot-moved his robot-body to the robot-voice track playing in the background; I will refer to this person as “Bisaac Blarke” from this point on. And then a band came on stage. They were alright, it’s just that the songs weren’t to my tastes. They were Binusians too, so I guess I can’t blame them for any unprofessionalism. I mean, I know how stressful college can be.

And then a couple of douchebags very fine people climbed onto the stage and announced themselves to be the MCs for the event. This was followed by an overly-long speech–sorry, overly-long speechES by various presumably-important people who I can’t remember. I seem to have forgotten a lot of the boring parts, and I wouldn’t have remembered if I hadn’t read my friend’s post on this same event(shoutout to you, Lord Edge McFilth of the Jacket Kingdom).

Now let’s move on to the event that I remember most because I’m getting bored remembering the boring parts. The event I’m talking about is the “visualisation”, which I believe is wanker’s talk for “play”. The play was about life in Binus, from the FEP all the way to…uh…I’m not sure at which point it ended, actually; as far as I remember, they did a project and then a slightly chubby person came up on stage and ended the play with some narration and a little dance. It was a bit fun to watch, I admit, but ironically it was much more fun to watch the little skits the characters do when they’re not in focus. Now I don’t want to crap on these people too much because honestly they act very well, which was emphasised by the fact that the entire script was an audio track and the actors were lipsyncing it well. But that still didn’t help me from drifting away from the play and right onto my 3DS, where I spent a huge chunk of the play on. As the play went, I noticed a lot of people sleeping around me; sitting down, spread across three seats, and even on the floor. I guess the play wasn’t engaging enough for them.

I just remembered that there was a talkshow before the play, so I’ll talk about that right now. It was boring and I wasn’t paying attention to it. Alright, I’m done talking about the talkshow.

Now for the rave. After the longest break of the event, we were gathered on the lower level of the hall, where we were promptly deafened by a blast of electronic music. I’m getting ahead of myself here; I already have my poker heated up and the HTTP tied up with its bum in my direction, but I forgot to address the guest-starring band that performed beforehand. The band was pretty good, actually; they played some good songs and I especially like the trumpet player for giving the whole thing a more jazzy-swingy feel. Alright, back to the rave. Maybe it’s just not my thing, but the rave was my least favourite part of the whole thing, what with its music being so loud that I swear my heart started beating to the rhythm. And the room was hot because they turned off the AC and there were a bunch of sweating people bunched up together. In short: my legs hurt, the music was too loud, and I wished I was at home playing video games.

After the whole thing was over, it was finally time for the promised goodie bags, which was my only motivation for staying. Unfortunately, after queuing up with the aforementioned bunched-up still-sweating people for a few minutes and getting to the door where they were giving out the goodie bags, I was told that I needed to wait for my goodie bag. I have no idea why, but if I had to assume, it was because I had one of the photocopied paper tickets instead of the fancy-shmanzy colourful tickets that most of the other folks got. Anyways, I waited, got my bag which contained a t-shirt, a karaoke coupon, a slip containing a password for a useless site, though it does make for a good bookmark, and a pen; then I got on the bus and finally went home.

Bisaac Blarke appeared again at some point in the show to dance but I can’t remember exactly when that happened.

And there you have it, a review of the sweatstained landfill that is the HTTP. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn’t expecting something so utterly boring. You’d think it’d be a spectacular event, what with so many sponsors whose names they just felt the need to announce every single time the MCs came on stage. One of which was Nescafe, which I find a bit odd, since it doesn’t look like they did anything to carry the fact other than mention its name. I mean, they could’ve at least given a can of the stuff to everyone; it certainly would’ve helped with the incredible drowsiness I was feeling throughout the whole thing.

P.S. I had to re-write some parts a couple of times because I can’t seem to remember things correctly. I’ll just chalk that as a testament to how boring this whole thing was.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *