Earlier, I watched a show called “Re-Load: Games On Review”. Or at least I think I did; about halfway through it I drifted off and started thinking about the viability of using dolphin-mounted torpedo launchers for underwater combat, then came back to find them playing a card game with no pictures.
Anyways, Re:Load -Starting a Game in Another Save File- is a show about video games, and that’s about the only thing I know and am certain of. They talked about three games all made by Binusians of the GAT department, all of which I will be reviewing here.
Snowman Defender
At the very least, it has an apt title; you play as a kid defending a snowman from legions of snowmonsters, which might be an allegory for how humanity is destroying itself, and the only thing that can stop said destruction is something inhuman, but I doubt that. The graphic’s alright, I suppose; it’s certainly got that “no passion for pixel art” vibe seen in a lot of mobile and/or indie games these days Edit: okay, maybe I was a bit harsh on it, it’s fine, nothing offensive, simply okay. The gameplay is the aspect that I’d most like to criticise because, putting aside the simplistic gameplay, it’s very slow, and a very slow shooty-wooty kind of game is no fun. I just erased an entire paragraph that talked about Doom and Painkiller because I remembered a much better game for comparison: Touhou. Much like this game, Touhou is a bullet-hell shooter, wherein you move around a 2D space dodging bullets and shooting enemies. Where it differs is in speed; Touhou is a fast game that forces you to think fast or you’ll be hit by one of the many bullets that fill the screen, and it’s engaging that way. It’s a challenging game that gets your blood pumping, and that’s what makes it fun.
World of Warcreatures War of Creatures
Hearthst-I mean War of Creatures, is a card game that’s kind of similar to Hearthstone. And that’s all I know about it thanks to the aforementioned thought of dolphin-mounted ice cream dispensers or something. Even if I did pay attention I don’t think I can give it much of a review seeing as how I don’t play those kinds of games.
NecroLands
SPOOPS AND GHOUKS GALORE, BOYS. NecroLands is a horror-themed twin-stick shooter with the greatest scare of all: lack of fun. It has the same problem as Snowman Defender in that it’s very slow and a very slow twin-stick shooter is no fun; as I’ve covered this problem in the Snowman Defender review, I don’t think there’s any need to write about it again. I don’t really want to talk about the graphics because I feel like I won’t be able to without calling it a bucket of sewage on wheels. Anyways, speed things up and improve the graphics, that’s all I can say about it.
And there you go, my reviews on the three games shown on Re-Load tonight. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to wallow in my own cynicism.
Toodles.